April 15, 2005 - 2:30 p.m.
It's time to put it out there.
Bitches who do not take part in maintenance with things such as the 'stache, nose hair or nipple hair need not apply..
As an ex-pervayor of things such as fun, people and/or a life in general.. I find it rather irritating to be an on-looker in most public places today. (And you know how I love me some people.) First, if my daughter thinks she is going to wear jeans that have the pockets at or below the butt-line.. she's nuts. I'm going to have to appologize here in advance, but aren't pockets supposed to be ON your ass?? That was how I thought your tail looked good in jeans....
Every teenager and some blatent hanger's on seem to be down with the low-rise thing. I myself love to show my tummy, but not if it's going to sacrafice the fan-fucking-tastic ass-line that I work for regularly. What the hell?
If you are going to work with the public, ie; bartender, waitress, secratarial.. you must keep up on a few specialty items.
1.) Eyebrows. If you're going to tweeze or wax or use pliers.. great, but when I want to order a martini, please make certain that one of your caterpiller friends does not shed or try to hurt me.
2.) Nose hair. Yes, as fucked up as this may be.. women have them too. Lots of people make fun of hairy-ass men for having to go in & ground the fuckers out once a week, but I have had girls talk to me that would do well with a treatment on occasion also.
3.) Nipple hair. Haaahaaha. Sorry, this one is especially good. There's nothing quite like getting your rag, feeling like ass for a week & not recieving any serious drilling. BUT, when you look down & one of those fuckers makes his bi-yearly appearance... you may now flip the fuck out.
Please do not question where this came from.. I am only unleashed on the public for a weekend twice a month and when I get into any kind of decent dance club, this is sadly the first thing I do. People watching kills me. It truly does take all kinds to make my world go 'round. Go shave your shit bitches.
