October 14, 2004 - 10:55 a.m.
Good morning, afternoon, and evening. There is a crucial matter at hand as we live and breathe. May I just begin by saying I am not going to mention any of my views on the third Presidential Debate, or how President Bush projected that un-nerving smile as though he had just been handed a party hat & gay porn, or the manner in which Senator Kerry completely obsolved himself of his beliefs when called out on the fact that he supports full-term abortion as opposed to adoption, not even the fact that I am the Queen Of The Run-On Sentence... I am however going to let you in on a secret that few of you are aware of, and that would be...
the art of costume.
Yes kids with All Hallow's Eve just around the thorn bush, each of you should be made aware that the key to any superior costume is none other than a phenomenal ass.
As previously noted, I am well aware of my 'Wonder Why-I-Need-A Bra' supporting mammory glands. I however, have made made it this far with chin held high in circumstances ranging from biker bar to upper class social function on my fabulous tucus alone, that being said... costume can only take this up a notch.
After a brief but mentally nourishing conversation late last night, I have put my Halloween helmet on and am now most likely going straight to hell on a slip 'n' slide. I have decided to be a pimp boys & girls and I cannot wait to show the neighbors here in Conservativeville. From the snazzy red crushed velvet top hat with the fab purple feather right down to the black knee-high, spike heeled, pleather hooker boots. I have also incorporated an article that recently surfaced which I purchased many years ago in my raver stage... a go-go green pleather trench coat, this should complete the garb atrocity nicely.
Now, the snake-like demographics of my personality depict that I should definately be seen in this by the Ex-Husband, although I am not quite certain I can tolerate the reprocussions that he may afford to me from the afore mentioned funnee. Sooo, I'm so going out dammit. If for no other reason than to blatenly reassure myself of the sexual pressure I can invoke on an unbeknownst getleman,... or asshole, whatever.
I'm so gonna be hot bitches.
Good luck in your searches to become the perfect costume artist, and your long awaited unvailing of what lurks in your minds.
And now... I am through with this. You may all continue your hunt for glory.
